My mother told me I had a chameleon soul, no moral compass pointing due north, no fixed personality; just an inner indecisiveness that was as wide and and wavering as the ocean…
And if I said I didn’t plan for it to turn out this way I’d be lying…
Because I was born to be the other woman.
I belonged to no one, who belonged to everyone.
Who had nothing, who wanted everything, with a fire for every experience and an obsession for freedom that terrified me to the point that I couldn’t even talk about it, and pushed me to a nomadic point of madness that both dazzled and dizzied me.
Standing there by the broken tree, Her hands were all twisted, she was pointing at me.
I was damned by the light coming out of her eyes.
She spoke with a voice that disrupted the sky.
She said ‘Walk on over yeah to the bit of shade,I will wrap you in my arms and you’ll know you’ve been saved’
I was out for a drink in a soho bar
The air was smoked out liked a cheap cigar
She rose out of her seat like a painted ghost
She was the woman that I wanted the most
As she reached for my arm I gave her my hand
I said ‘Lay me down easy let me understand’
As I walked through the door she was still in my head
As I entered the room she was laid there in bed
She reached out for me all twisted in black
I was on my way down, never coming back
Let me sign, let me sign, can’t fight the devil so just let me sign.
Maybe I should kill myself
Blame it on my A.D.D. baby.
Maybe I’m a different breed
Maybe I’m not listening
So blame it on my A.D.D. baby.
I don’t belong in anything you dream
in anything we dream
She said, Put your hands back on my skin
and say you loved me, cause I can’t live like you do,
Come on, just press against me.
You always have my attention,and please speak up louder.
Make those lips move.
Just remember always move fast.
We know you, we own you.
Go home and leave me at the door or we can stay outside of your house
And just wait for the morning.
I’ve seen your sadness grow.
And it swallows these days until it hurts to breathe.
She whispers, thanks for your time tonight.
Emitting all its graces through the ṗores
You’d make a fine shrine in me
You’ll build a fine shrine in me
But I must see with my chest and sink
To the edges round you
Into the lakes and quarries that brink
On all the edges round you, round you
Get a little closer let it fold
Cut open my sternum and pull
My little ribs around you
Dirty numb angel boy
In the doorway boy
She was a lipstick boy
She was a beautiful boy
And tears boy
And all in your innerspace boy
Hands girl boy
And steel boy
You had chemicals boy
I’ve grown so close to you
Boy and you just groan boy
She said comeover comeover
She smiled at you boy.
Passing the days
Looking over the buildings
Time seemed to stop
While the millions keep moving
Now here I am
I’m a drop in your ocean
A noise in the crowd
Pushing through your halls of reason
So throw me a line
Somebody out there help me
I’m on my own
I’m on my own
Throw me a line
I’m afraid that I have come here
To win you again
With trembling hands
There goes the ending
It left me in want
But I’ve tried everything dear
I am done with my part.
I could possibly be fading
Or have something more to gain
I could feel myself growing colder
I could feel myself under your fate
It was you, breathless and torn
I could feel my eyes turning into dust
Into strangers, turning into dust
am I really really really really gonna have to really gonna have to really have to leave town?
And that tonight I’ll call ya,
After my blood is drowning in alcohol,
No I just wanna hold ya.